The Christmas Pageant
by Lyria Padfoot
Summary: Sirius, James, Remus, Lyria, Casilda, and some future death eaters are forced to participate in a Christmas pageant. Hilarity ensues.


Summary: Based loosely on a dysfunctional Christmas  
Pageant at my church.....   
I couldn't get this vicious rabid bunny out of my  
head.. so here's the story!  
Disclaimer: Belongs to J.K.R. In case you didn't  
already know.  
A/N: Lyria Strider & Cassi Strider are *my*  
creations. I love them. Ask before   
you use them, please. You can have Mrs. Alexander; we  
all know one like   
her anyway.  
  
The Christmas Pageant  
  
  
Mrs. Alexander, head of the Sunday School, smiled  
benevolently upon the children. It was the first week  
of November, and she had been asked to put together a  
Christmas Pageant to teach the children the meaning of  
the holiday. And they were little angels! Sitting  
so quietly, waiting for her to begin...  
James Potter turned to Sirius Black, his best friend  
for all of the 8 years they'd been alive. "Haven't  
you got a dungbomb we could set off?" He asked  
pleadingly.  
Sirius sat rigidly, staring at the lady. "Nope. Mum  
snatched it this morning. And she said if I didn't  
behave, she'd clean out my room!"   
James shuddered in sympathy and began paying  
attention as well.  
"Now," Mrs. Alexander began, "This year, my dears,  
we are going to have a Christmas Pageant! Isn't that  
exciting? I know you all want to be part of it, but I  
think our third graders—" here she smiled benevolently  
upon the third grade class sitting in the back "should  
have the main parts."  
"Uh-oh." Lyria Strider turned to her sister. "I  
don't like the sound of that."  
"Me, either," Cassi replied. "But at least 'Cissa's  
safe."  
"I can tell you're as excited as I am, dears," Mrs.  
Alexander's smile was disgustingly sweet. "Can I have  
my third graders come with me, please??"  
The class walked off as if they were attending their  
own funerals.  
  
  
"You'll be a lovely angel, sweetie," Mrs. Alexander  
assured Cassi. "And you can carry the baby!"  
Casilda smiled. 'Hah! I don't have to be Mary!'  
"And how about this little one here?" Mrs. Alexander  
whirled on Lyria. Lyri gulped. "Would you like to be  
Mary, sweetie?"  
"Oh, ma'am.. I just couldn't...." Lyria began.  
"Oh, nothing to be nervous about, dear, I'm sure  
you'll be fine." Mrs. Alexander just didn't understand  
children as well as she thought she did.  
"And what about these boys here?"  
Lucius Malfoy, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Evan  
Rosier, Augustus Rookwood, James Potter, and Sirius  
Black all exchanged looks. It seemed for once they  
were on the same side.  
"Seven of you... seven parts, how perfect!" Mrs.  
Alexander gave them the benefit of another benevolent  
smile.   
'Maybe Christmas'll be a full moon,' Remus thought  
inwardly. He did some math in his head... 'Aww, the  
night after!'  
"Now. How about three shepherds...." Mrs. Alexander  
pointed at Remus, Severus, and Augustus, who gave  
relieved smiles.  
"And our three wise men.... How about you, dear," she  
pointed to James.   
Sirius found this incredibly amusing and burst into  
laughter.  
James glared at him.  
Mrs. Alexander continued unconcerned. "And you,  
sweetie, and you." She pointed to Lucius and Evan.   
"And that leaves us with our Joseph..."  
Sirius paled.  
The others laughed.  
"Sirius and Lyria sitting in a tree.." Lucius began on  
the way out the door.  
Lyria shot him the Look of Death. He shut up.  
  
  
  
"I don't believe this," James whined as soon as he  
saw the costumes. "I have to wear a *dress?*"  
"So do I," Lyria pointed out.   
"But you're a girl!" James replied.  
"So she claims," Sirius put in.  
Lyria grabbed a nearby shepherd's hook and hit Sirius  
with it.  
"Owww! Hey! Stop that!" He yelped, running off to  
the other side of the room.   
Lyria chased him. "I'm going to get you, Sirius  
Black!"  
Lucius, wearing his costume crown, watched. "Violent  
girl, that one," he muttered as Lyria whacked Sirius  
with the cane again.  
  
  
  
  
"Okay, kids, time to practice!" Mrs. Alexander was  
beginning to lose patience. After having to threaten  
her Mary to make the girl stop beating Joseph, and  
then having to make the angels stop playing with the  
candles *and* keep the wise men from killing each  
other, she was starting to worry about these children.  
"Now, all you have to do is walk right up the aisle of  
the church. Mary and Joseph first, then the  
angels—the first one carries the baby—and then my  
shepherds, and then the kings. Now, you'll follow the  
star—she gestured to a toddler in a star costume—up  
the aisle and then I want you to do this." She picked  
up a package, and carried it up the aisle. When she  
got to the little wooden stable that was set up, she  
knelt on the stairs, held the package above her head,  
and bent down, resting the package and her head on the  
floor.  
"I'm not bowing down to Lyria Strider and some baby!"   
Lucius Malfoy yelped in indignation.   
"I hate to say it, but I agree with him," James said.  
"Then bow down to *me,*" suggested Sirius with a  
smirk. James glared at him.  
"Now, children, really!" Mrs. Alexander cried.  
They continued to squabble.   
Mrs. Alexander went to have a drink.  
  
  
  
Finally, Christmas Eve arrived, and the children were  
getting into costumes.  
"How do you work this thing?" Remus whined. His  
shepherd hat didn't want to cooperate.  
"Like this." Cassi Strider pulled it down over his  
eyes. Remus growled.  
Meanwhile, Mrs. Alexander was trying to pin a blue  
hairpiece into Lyria's dark curls.  
"It's not going to stay, ma'am," Lyria warned.  
"Nonsense, dearie! Of course it will....."   
Fifteen minutes later, however, Mrs. Alexander was  
starting to have her doubts. Finally, she attached  
the hairpiece to a headband and put the headband in  
her hair. "There, now. Go get the rest of your  
costume on!"  
Lyria headed off. James had picked a package with  
all marbles on the top, and they seemed to be coming  
loose. "Hey, James, you're losing your marbles,"   
Lyria laughed as they rolled off. He began chasing  
them, and more went in the other direction.   
Sirius came over, hat in hands. Mrs. Alexander  
quickly got it on his head, and herded the children  
upstairs to line them up.  
  
  
  
Oliver Strider took the script and headed to the  
front of the church to sit. He had to read the  
script, and the kids just trotted up the aisle at the  
appropriate time. Lovely. He watched Mrs.  
Alexander—the well meaning but clueless lady in  
charge—escort the kids to the back of the church.  
  
  
  
"Now, you two go first. Mary, lean on Joseph a  
little....." Mrs. Alexander requested.  
Lyria tried, however, she found she was walking  
practically bent sideways.  
"Oh, dear, he's a bit too short for that... Well,  
you'll just have to hold hands."  
"Hah! Sirius is too short!" Remus teased.  
"And now he has to hold hands with a girl!" James  
chimed in.  
Sirius shot them the look of death.  
"You two just walk right on up the aisle, and then  
the angels, just like we practiced.... " Mrs.  
Alexander began.  
Lyria looked down the aisle and gulped. "There's so  
many people..."  
"They'll all be looking at our little Mary," Mrs.  
Alexander beamed.  
Lyri burst into tears.   
Sirius' jaw dropped to his knees. "Hey... uh, Lyria,  
are you okay?"  
"There's so many people!! And they're all going to  
be looking at us!" She sobbed.  
James, Remus, and Sirius exchanged a look. James  
mouthed "who knew?" and Sirius knelt down next to  
Lyria.   
"Hey, 's okay. They'll be looking at me too,"   
Sirius tried to console her. "I mean, it's not every  
day you see a boy in a dress."  
Lyria giggled.  
Sirius looked up. "Come on, we've got to go." He  
helped Lyria to his feet, and held his shepherd's hook  
above his head. "Look, it's a shower!" He declared.  
Lyria laughed again.  
Sirius took her hand, and to Oliver's narration, they  
headed down the aisle.  
  
  
  
The baby was going to roll out of the thing, Lyria  
decided as Cassi put the baby in the crèche. Lyri  
quickly put her arms around the baby and tried not to  
look out at the people.   
Sirius glanced down at Lyri. She still looked  
scared, but not as bad, he decided. "Hey, if she  
falls I'll bet they don't ever make you do this  
again," he said very quietly.  
"That doesn't help much," Lyria said. "But thanks."  
Then Lucius Malfoy carried up his shiny package, and  
Lyria forgot her worries as the blonde boy bowed down  
to her and Sirius.  
It was, Lyria decided, a very happy Christmas after  
all. 


End file.
